Vom Charakter des Ehrenmannes . The Grand Old Name of Gentleman (J. R. Vernon, 1869)

Der Vortrag bei Youtube

Nach der Einführung ins Thema „Gentleman“ vom letzten Mal, als wir uns vor allem mit der Frage beschäftigt haben, inwiefern der Ehrenmann auch unhöflich sein darf und muß, also dem Widerstreit von Höflichkeit und Wahrhaftigkeit (der auch heute noch einmal wiederkehren wird), fahren wir nun mit einer anschaulichen Konkretisierung fort: Was macht im alltäglichen Umgang den Ehrenmann und Gentleman aus? Dazu ziehen wir einen hervorragenden Beitrag (S. 561) des südenglischen Pfarrers John Richard Vernon im Contemporary Review heran.

Ich gebe hier nur kurze Zusammenfassungen, aber auch die vorgelesenen Texte des Vortrags wieder: Zunächst die Distanzierung Vernons von der Vorstellung, der Gentleman könne nur zusammen mit Reichtum und Einfluß gedacht werden. Drgl. wird um 1900 auch gelegentlich von deutscher Seite aus dem englischen Sinn des Wortes beigelegt, wogegen der deutsche Gentleman (Gentelmann, Ehrenmann) vor allem charakterlicher Natur sei. Vernon betont, daß er das ebengleich meint:

There is need that it be defined, for the words are true that the name, the grand old name, is nowadays more than ever „defamed by every charlatan,“ and „soiled with all ignoble use.“ Not only are mere accidents or accessories regarded as though of the essence, but things which are quite foreign to it, and which sometimes actually encumber and obscure it, are regarded as though constituent parts of it. A large house, a carriage, much ostentation – what have these really to do with the character?

Aber auch durchaus Fähigkeiten im Umgang, die im allgemeinen mit einem Gentleman assoziiert werden, so stellt Vernon richtig fest, sind keine absolut notwendigen Voraussetzungen:

We must start, then, by disencumbering ourselves of things external merely – rank, wealth, power, show – all the mere setting of the stone. And further, of things also which, though undeniably advantages and adornments, are yet not of the essence of this character; are accidental – can be dispensed with – though they adorn where they may be had. High breeding; liberal education; familiarity with the ways of the best society; polished behaviour; easy manners; experience of books, and men, and countries; absence of shyness; an acquaintance with what is not mere littleness in etiquette; these may be the cutting of the jewel. Yet, though many of them will be assumed in this sketch, let it be declared at the outset that the jewel can exist without them.

Das erste seiner gelungenen Beispiele ist deshalb ein gewöhnlicher Fuhrmann, dem all das freilich nicht zugeschrieben werden kann:

I myself knew a plain village carrier in whom lurked much of the gentlemanly feeling. My wife and myself were for a few weeks, in the cold months, lodgers in his house. During that time this man laid aside his evening pipe (ye smokers, estimate this act of self-denial!), nor could be prevailed upon to resume it, having settled in his own mind that it must be annoying to a lady. Many would have laughed, seeing him leaning in his smock on a gate in the summer evenings, his beloved long clay enjoyed now without check, had I pointed him out as a true gentleman. But in my mind he ranked as such. He is one proof of many that the character may exist quite independent of accidental advantages, though of course these are of value in setting it off; and without them it is rather latent than developed.

Ich führe zusätzlich die Tatsache aus, daß niemand gewissen Umgang für sich fordert (etwa, wie eine Dame behalndelt zu werden), sondern von anderen als solche (Dame) erkannt wird – wenn sie tatsächlich eine solche ist – und daher die Entscheidung, wie mit jemandem umzugehen sei, immer beim anderen liegt. Sollten sich hier unauflösbare Konflikte ergeben, da jemand eine Umgangsform für sich beansprucht, die sein gegenüber zu leisten nicht willens ist (das also als Anmaßung oder Hochstapelei empfindet), so bleibt nur die Distanzierung voneinander.

Dazu gehört die Eigenschaft des Ehrenmannes, sich nur mit den hohen, edlen Dingen abzugeben, von den niederen aber abgestoßen zu sein und sie instinktiv zu meiden – bis hin zur Distanzierung von der Gesellschaft überhaupt (siehe weiter unten).

In this character, as the rule, we find a nobility of thought and intention, — a heart that is ever climbing up towards what is high, and noble, and great; naturally attracted by a certain affinity with these, and naturally repelled, as by an instinct, from what is low, and mean, and little. One test of this disposition is the judgment of motives in others. Does he most naturally suppose these to be pure and lofty, or corrupt and base? Watch what are his affinities, what is his instinct, in a doubtful case. Where there is an open choice will he swoop towards carrion, or soar towards the sun? Not that he is to be a simpleton, easily taken in by transparent shams, nor a Utopian, shutting his eyes to facts. But, in the wide space of neutral ground between certain good and certain bad, to whether bound does the bias of his mind sway him? In the large realm of possibilities will he be hopeful or suspicious, as a rule? The true gentleman is never a suspicious man, never a depreciator.

Hier folgt nun der Vollständigkeit halber die Zusammenfassung des Gegensatzes von Höflichkeit und Wahrhaftigkeit, die letztes Mal Hauptgegenstand war, in den Worten Vernons:

Again, he is always truthful and sincere; will not agree for the sake of complaisance or out of weakness; will not pass over that of which he disapproves. He has a clear soul, and a fearless, straight-forward tongue. On the other hand, he is not blunt and rude. His truth is courteous; his courtesy, truthful; never a humbug, yet, where he truthfully can, he prefers to say pleasant things.

Vernon fährt etwas unzusammenhängend mit der Frage fort, wie der Gentleman mit selbstverursachten Peinlichkeiten Anderer umgeht:

He is not curious; he is, of course, the man who walks by a window without a side glance, whether of purpose or inadvertence. He is, I need not say, free from that ill-breeding which would press upon a person whom some unguarded word has betrayed to have a secret. If something of confusion reveal that a slip has been made, the gentleman will recede, or appear not to notice, or turn the conversation. He is above gossip, and is not the man to whom you would bring a petty tale.

Daß der Gentleman durchaus auf verschiedene Art und Weise Abneigung auf sich ziehen kann, eben aufgrund vor allem seiner notwendigen Wahrhaftigkeit, und daß er sich gegen Anmaßungen freilich auch deutlich zur Wehr setzt, ist eine wichtige Korrektur gegenüber der modernen Vorstellung eines Gentleman, dessen Leben ausschließlich von Duldung, Friede, Freude und Eierkuchen erfüllt scheint.

Yet, though capable of strong indignation, he is never scornful or sneering. A sneer is the weapon of all most familiar to the mean mind. There is nothing God-like in it. Nor does the Gentleman, where possible to avoid it, deal in snubbing. Respect for others makes him unwilling to humiliate them ; while, as for guarding himself, the atmosphere of his own self-respect – an influence not obtruded, but felt; intangible, but real – this, and grave disapproval, sometimes deepening to sternness, enable him to check ignorance or insolence; for though never a proud or a vain man, he is a man with whom it is not easy to take a liberty. He withdraws into himself from an uncongenial touch; yet, in doing so, would, as a matter of preference, rather avoid hurting, or making the difference felt.

Dies kann zum vollkommenen Bruch mit der gesamten Gesellschaft führen, ist aber keineswegs das Ende des Ehrenmannes, sondern nur ein ganz gleichwertiger Status seines durchaus unabhängigen Geistes:

He is company for himself; he has sympathy with himself; he understands himself, and retires on this inner consciousness when misunderstood by others; he is, in a sense, independent of them.

Und auch hier, außerhalb der Gesellschaft, behält er die hohe Form seines Wesens bei, wie Vernon sehr schön ausführt: Es handelt sich bei ihm nicht um ein Sonntagsverhalten, das nur gelegentlich aufgesetzt wird:

Nobility with them is not some extra finery to put on; it is their every-day dress, and so they are at ease in it, while those who bring it out but for Sundays and Holidays wear it creased, and uncomfortably, and ever fearing to stain it.

And one result of this naturalness is, that in his actions there is an absence alike of obtrusion and of elaborate shrinking back. He can afford to do a noble act without having it known. In truth, it is nothing wonderful, special, and out-of-the-way to him; nor does it strike him that others should regard it as at all remarkable.

But, on the other hand, for the same reason he can, if need be, endure publicity. The thing does not appear to him so extraordinary that he should make a great fuss and parade about hiding it. A lamp ever lit; -place a bushel over it, and it still burns on; let it be set upon the table, and its mild kind light is as cheerfully diffused.

Dazu gehört auch die Selbstverständlichkeit, daß er sich nicht in engerer Gesellschaft gehen läßt:

I need hardly say that he is not of those who, after dinner, when the ladies have left, and talk and wine have removed restraint, as though relieved from fetters, run into coarse anecdote and jest as their natural element. He has no tendency towards, no affinity with, manure; nothing in him of the foul blue fly; his instinct is that of the bee, which extracts sweetness from everything.

Ein besonders schönes Beispiel für einen Umgangsfehler bschreibt Vernon im Zusammenhang mit einer Einladung durch einen Landadligen:

I remember a thorough old gentleman, my former rector, telling me of his bringing such carelessness and superciliousness to book. Upon his first coming to his rectory one of the country gentry, no distant neighbour, kept asking him, in a free and easy, not to say a patronizing way (without having taken the trouble to call on him), why he didn’t come over and see him, come and dine, &c. At last my friend turned quietly upon him and said, „Excuse me for reminding you that if you wish to make my acquaintance, it is in your own power to do so. The customs of society place the initiative with you. I see no reason why in my case they should be reversed.“

Die letztlich von oben erteilte, falsche Einladung, doch einmal bei Gelegenheit vorbeizukommen, die nichts anderes bedeutet, als die Intiative auf den anderen zu spielen, der gar keine Einladung im Sinn hatte, ist hier ausnahmsweise von seinem Pfarrsfreund sehr deutlich erklärt worden. Üblicherweise bleibt auf so etwas natürlich jede Reaktion über gewisse Freundlichkeitsfloskeln hinaus aus, da es sich im Grunde um einen Affront handelt.

Auch die Behandlung seiner Feinde ist von besonderer Signifikanz. Sofern nicht das oben zur Schärfe der eigenen Verteidigung Gesagte anzuwenden ist, da der Feind sich mit Anmaßung und Unhöflichkeit hervortut, so ist beim Ehrenmann eine besondere Fairness gegenüber der anderen Meinung zu beobachten:

Under this head of his conduct in society may be placed the very important item of his treatment of enemies. They will always in his case be those who have injured him, or taken a dislike to him; there will be none whom he has injured, or with whom he has quarrelled, at least wittingly, or without having offered full reparation and amends so far as may be. He may, however, cause offence by his firmness, and by his fearlessness and candour on occasions, however his speaking the truth may have been in love. He may have to oppose what is wrong or unadvisable, to rebuke or to reprove, and so make enemies. But then, you will observe, that he never speaks against them; that he never details the grievance and subject-matter of the disagreement, nor even alludes to it to others, unless obliged, and then with shrinking and dislike. Also, if the character be at its very highest, he will, in detailing the circumstances of a disagreement, state the case fairly against himself. He (in the most rare cases) can even refrain from distorting the words of an opponent, or swerving them from their true and intended meaning, so as to make for himself in answering that opponent.

Schließlich das auch heute noch anwendbare Beispiel der anonymen Anklage und des anonymen Briefes:

As to anonymous letters, it would be almost laughable to write down that he could not send one. I only mention them in order to say that I knew one of the blood with so fine a sense that he never even read one. Into the fire it went, as soon as he missed the name at the end (and he always looked at the end, being from his position exposed to such sneaking attacks or information). He was the Head Master of a Public School. He never even received an accusation against a boy, volunteered privately, which the informer would not in person support. He would in such case call the boy up, tell him what had been alleged, merely expressing his abhorrence of the meanness of the informer, and refusing to hear any explanation or defence, „because,“ said he, „you are not accused.“

Ein Absatz, der im Vortrag nicht vorkommt, hier aber noch eingefügt sein soll, ist jene Art des angeblich wohlmeinenden Urteils, daß aber gezielt mit Frechheiten gespickt wird und freilich auch eines Ehrenmannes unwürdig ist:

I allude to that young-lady meanness which will praise another, and speak highly of him not „damn with faint praise; „yet all the while letting slip little depreciations and admissions, which, after all, and as intended, lower him in your mind – much, indeed, as certain modern commentators treat the Bible.

Schließlich stärkt Vernon endgültig den Punkt der Allgemeinheit des ehrenhaften Charakters, der unter keinen Umständen, weder zu Hause, noch selbst wenn der Gentleman gänzlich allein ist, von seinen Prinzipien loszulassen hat:

I shall not forbid, after his tiring day, that he should go to slippers rather than to dress-boots; I allow him to wear out his old coats ; I will not compel him to spoil all his enjoyment of his wife’s playing by leaving his luxurious eye-closed revelling in his easy chair in order to turn over the leaves of her music : it would not be courteous to cut off the power of thoroughly appreciating her performance. The husband need not be a Sir Charles Grandison. But he will neglect no little attention, no small courtesy, no delicate respect; and he will be careful to retain some ceremony, even in a tête- à-tête life.

And further yet. The gentleman respects himself; and is not ungentlemanly even when alone. He will not even thus forego some decent ceremony; not sit down to dinner, for instance, without some little ordering of his appearance. He would not, I think, either help himself or feed, when alone, otherwise than as he would in company. Supposing him to be a shaver, he would not go with stubbly chin, left in a dirty-looking condition of bristle, even were he on a desert island; true, there he would probably be sure to let his beard grow. In short, come upon him as suddenly as you like, however he might be alone, the Gentleman would never be surprised doing anything ungentlemanly.

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